I read this on a travel agent forum. It's well written, he has a good sense of humor and quite funny in parts and just outrageous in other parts, it's amazing what some company owners will do to make a buck!
By Blake
The airlines are getting very desperate ... charging more and more for
things that used to be free.
Qantas recently announced plans to start selling exit row seats on its
trans-Pacific flights for about $130 extra per seat -- $8.70 per hour for a
Sydney to Los Angeles flight.
Hey, if the plane is burning or sinking, you are sure to get out first.
In addition to the safety factor, the extra leg room alone, on a fifteen
hour flight, is well worth the additional 2 cents a mile. You also get to sit
with other "able bodied" -- not too old and not too young -- who are
willing to pay, and avoid being squished in between crying babies and overweight
gargancho space squatters oozing onto your seat.
Pretty soon, airlines will be charging for the privilege of getting any
seat at all. There have been recurring reports that two European airlines have
asked the airline manufacturers to come up with a plane with no seats --
all the better to stuff more people in.
They would have straps and harnesses on the walls. Michael Ryan, head of
Ryanair, one of Europe's biggest airlines -- which carried 5.84 million
passengers in June -- said recently,"This makes the idea of standing for an hour
or so on an airplane a workable one." Ryan said that many people stand for
over an hour on a train, so it should be no problem on an airplane.
Ryan has also been going back and forth about the idea of asking passengers
to pay one euro (around a dollar) to use the toilet. The logic: Ryan said
he could remove two toilets and put in extra seats. Furthermore, asking
passengers to pay would encourage them to use the toilets at the airports, or
hold it until they land.
Ryan even said he'd favor of a "fat tax" on overweight passengers.
Asian copy-cats are jumping on the standing room only bandwagon. Wang
Zhenghua, president of China's low-cost Spring Airlines, said he would like to
offer bar-stool type seating to pack more people onto its airplanes.
"For a lower price, passengers should be able to get on a plane like
catching a bus, with no seat, no luggage consignment, no food, no water...[it
will be] very convenient."
What could possibility be next? Why not go the whole way? Airlines could
start selling aisle seats for $50 and window seats for $40.
>From here the premiums multiply, seats in the front of the plane (you can
get off faster) could easily go for $20 extra, and seats at least two rows
away from the galley or flushing toilets would be an extra $15. Overhead
bins could go for $10 per bag.
Seats in an adult's only section -- over 30, guaranteed to be away from
screaming babies and babbling teens -- could easily fetch a $50 premium. And a
singles only section might fetch a cover charge of $25.
Airlines could hold some seats back for on-board auctions for already
seated travelers who wanted to move in the most desperate way -- body odor,
excessive talking, smelly food, or large-sized row mates.
Better yet. Why not take pre-boarding to a whole new level with
computer match making, so you could see in advance who you are going to be
seated next to... and the bidding could start on eBay.
